Fast forward 16 years and I founded The Be Project with the tag line 'Discovering who you are and who you want to be.' In the middle, I'm proud to say, I think I've done that. Or am doing that. I am constantly exploring the difference between who I am and who I want to be being. Ha! I am also constantly charging myself with the sometimes herculean task of that becoming.
Earlier the same year I started my business, I had a totally clean slate in front of me. My partner of 8 years, best friend of 10 had moved out of our house while I was in Guatemala on a Habitat for Humanity trip. We had broken up months earlier but it was as amicable as it can be in a situation like that and we had ridden it out until he could find housing. Not just suitable housing but housing he could thrive in. I got the hell out of dodge and he moved all of his stuff out (and most of our stuff had been 'his' stuff) while I was out of the country. I came home to a near empty house. Very little furniture, no dogs, no partner, just 'me'.
First things first. That night I painted the grimy old gray-ish stairs to my basement bright blue. I put a sky chair swing up in my house. I got a couch, a dog, a roommate and then a boyfriend. Or at least guy that I dated in that awkward 'coming off of a long relationship' way.
I named the great room in my house, the one with the swing, the Be Room. I set out on creating this room as a place where anyone could do almost anything they wanted, a place to just Be. In there, I painted and screamed, sighed and rejoiced, danced and sobbed. I kicked, punched, cursed and lay still. I asked and did Tarot. I listened. I swung and I sang to the loud, loud music at the top of my lungs. I looked in the mirror. I thought and wrote and laughed and played. I dug deep.
I WAS JUST BEING. AND I LOVED IT!
I dated. I went dancing. I hiked. I did yoga. I wrote poetry. I did Contact Improv. I did T-group. I meditated. I watched sunrises with my dog. I met a lot of new people. I explored how other people did 'human'. I realized how I wanted to do human.
My best friend was married and had just had her first baby. She said once that she loved hearing my stories, that she was living an alternative reality vicariously through me. And that she was tuned in like to a television show. Since we met that freshman year of college Abigail has always called me Betty. We decided to call it, my life at the time, The Episodes of Being Absolutely Betty.
I dedicate this blog to me. To me, 19 years old, taking my first steps into the responsibility of self-actualization. To me, 33 years old, stepping out on my own to re-create myself and my life. To me, 34 years old, quitting a full time job to continue pursuing my dream of my own business dedicated to helping others explore their potential. And to me, 41 years old TODAY, a wife, a mother, a Rolfer, an OT, a woman, still digging away at Being Absolutely...